“TALKING THROUGH THE PANE”

By Ellen Dean M.S., LPC-S, LMFT-S

Recently on Mothers’ Day, as my husband, Bob, was taking the lawn chairs from the trunk of the car, across the yard, I could see his Mom moving the drapes back in her window.

We were going to visit his mom, Mary Morriss, where she lives at The Arabella Assisted Living in Longview, TX. We are not able to go in to see her because of the COVID-19 season, so we visit with her outside of her window.

As we pulled up our lawn chairs next to the window Mom said, “I have thought of a name for our visits. We both asked, “What is it?” and she said, “Talking through the pane.”

That is so meaningful because it is true. While we are talking through the pane, we are talking also through the pain. Mom is exactly right.

This is especially important to us because Mom who is 89 years old had COVID-19, and she survived. We are so blessed and very thankful. We praise the Lord for her recovery and count every day with her as a blessing.

Before Easter, Mom got sick and tested positive for COVID-19. She was put in isolation and quarantined in her apartment. Mom has since had two negative tests which showed that she has overcome this ravaging disease. Now she is regaining her strength day by day.

This global pandemic is difficult for the whole world. Discussing the impacts of these incredible circumstances and other life issues is vitally important. Everyone benefits by talking through the physical, emotional, relationally and financial aspects. That is how we process our emotions.

Families need to be talking together, assuring one another and developing plans for handling this unprecedented occurrence. Children need to have the situation explained to them on their level of understanding.

As a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I am talking with people each week about the uncertainties, concerns, burdens and anxieties they are experiencing. There is a lot of pain to process.

There are also many things to be thankful for. Families have been able to slow down and spend more time together during the shelter in place. There has been a quieting from the rush of life and activities. This is resulting in renewing important priorities and refocusing back on values of life, family, safety, health and basic essentials.

This pandemic has also brought a greater awareness of God. We see His power and majesty as well as His nearness, tender care and grace during this turbulent stretch. We are reminded of His love for us as He provides for our needs and gives comfort, wisdom and guidance.

We recognize how life is precious and fragile. Hopefully, this occasion is creating a desire in the hearts of people to live for the honor and glory of God. There are still many unanswered questions during this event. However, there is remarkable peace available also. The peace that God gives is greater than fear and uncertainty.

Jesus Christ promised that He will give us His peace. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

The most significant and helpful method of talking through any pain is always to talk to God in prayer. We can pour out our fears and burdens to Him. We can talk with Him about our needs.

God loves you and has a plan for your life. He will answer those who seek Him.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Ellen Dean is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Richardson, TX.  Biblical Counseling and Ministries www.bcandm.org 972-231-0808

She is the author of Marriage Trust Builders.www.ellendeanbooks.com

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